Tag Archives: family

Raining

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After it rained, steam rose from the ground, and swirled around. Goldi put on her bathing suit, ran out into the steamy air, and started to jump. The puddles were clean, round, and deep. They were perfect. A gift the rain gave to Goldie.

“There’s another one way down there!” Goldie cried as she skipped through a stream that rippled down the street and swirled around at the end of the culd de sac. The giant perfectly round clear puddle was suddenly lit up with sparkles. The grayish blue sky canvassed a rainbow. The sun lit it up long enough for everyone to look and wonder.

“Come on! It’s great!” Goldie’s hair was combed with fresh water drips. There was not a dry spot on her. Her wide open smile seemed to drink in the refreshment from the sky.

That was the happiest kind of rain.

Goldie held a blanket and a giant stuffed pink rabbit. She sunk down in a puffy beanbag jammed into the corner of her closet and closed its door.

“Goldie? Goldie are you in there?” My voice accompanied my eager knocking on her bedroom door. “Are you ok?”

Goldie didn’t answer. Even if she did. I would not have heard her. The thunder kept interrupting.

The sky blinked many times in a row. Then there was darkness.

“The power went out!” Goldie burst out of her closet. “Where is the flashlight?”

“Look,” I said placing the giant flashlight in the center of her room.

Goldie looked all around at what looked very familiar but to be sure- she felt each toy, book, and pillow. The darkness had not erased everything dear to her.

“When will the lights come back on?” she asked squeezing her pink bunny again.

“I am not sure. We’ll have our eyes closed most of the time anyway. It’s bedtime. “

“Oh,” Goldi said hurrying herself in blankets and other stuffed animals.

That was the mean and scary kind of rain.

“You are not going to like this question,” Goldie sighed and looked one way and then the other. “I am just wondering , is it supposed to rain tonight?”

Since spring, Goldie had been asking me the same question nearly everyday. Knowing if it would rain, cancelled any inkling to have a friend over, go shopping, or walk to the library. If I asked her, “Would you like to go to the bookstore?” She would say, “Maybe another day, today it is supposed to rain.”

“I will look at the forecast.” I assured her.

The forecast didn’t look very assuring. A nearly 100% chance of rain. Rain that we needed. Rain that would green up the world. Rain that would feed the lakes, rivers, and streams. Rain that would grow her favorite vegetable and make my flowers grow.

“Yes, it is supposed to rain. It says 100% chance”. “

“Is it going to be bad?” Goldi wrinkled up her forehead She squeezed one set of fingers with the other hand and then rubbed her palms together.

“I don’t know. But there is one thing I do know!” I said bouncing eyebrows up and down.

“What?” Goldie’s eyebrows jumped up and stayed up high in her forehead.

“I know who wants it to rain. I know who will show how big and powerful He is when it does.”

“That’s true. ” Goldie said looking out the window. In her long look, the sky was sometimes full of clouds and sometimes full of sun. The trees waved to her and then were still. She could hear the frogs singing.

The windows were soon washed. Then the whole house seemed to be in a bath. It seemed like a bucket of water was being dumped from above. The trees must have waved goodbye. We could not make them out through the window. . All we could see was wet. The sky didn’t blink but the bossy thunder made the window pane rattle.

“I’m scared.” Goldie said softly.

“I know,” I said standing shoulder to shoulder next to her. “and HE knows too”. I pointed up to the sky.

That is the stretching and growing and have to be brave kind of rain.

That is the rain that we have now.

Goldie finds out about Temple

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“Mom, I have something to tell you.” Goldie had come near to my reading and looked at me with wrinkles in her forehead and wide opened eyes.

“What is it?” I looked up from my book and waited in wonder about the story she would tell.

“She got upset. She threw things, tore paper, and banged her fists on the wall, and yelled!”

“Wow! That is what I call upset.” I said with wrinkles in my own forehead and my own eyes big. I looked out the window and saw a flashback. Goldie was stomping around and screaming. I can’t remember her throwing anything or tearing anything up. But the door was closed so that the sound of her “tantrum” was somewhat muffled. Was she throwing a tantrum because we told her we were going to the store instead of going to the post office? Was it because we made her try ONE little piece of broccoli at dinner? I am too old to remember and Goldie’s temper has been coated with sweetness now.

“I don’t think her mom was upset. She was probably just trying to figure out the best way to help her daughter ”

“She said, she wanted to go into the squeezing machine.” Goldie was extremely serious. She didn’t smile. Her eyebrows were still and straight. “Did I have a squeezing machine?”

“No,” I said, “Here is what we had” I opened up my arms and wrapped them around her.

“Ah, mom that’s way too tight.” she said.

“Sorry” I said dropping my hands to my sides.

“The doctors told her mom to send her to a school that was also kind of like a hospital and live there for the rest of her life!” Goldie stomped one foot. Her eyes seemed to pop out of her face.

“But her mother didn’t listen. She got her a lot of help. She didn’t belong locked up in a school all the time. ” I patted her shoulder and smiled.

“Was I supposed to go to a school like that?” Goldie’s face blushed a bit

“Absolutely not! You learned right along with everyone else! Right?”

“Yeah that’s right!” Goldie’s smile was ear to ear.

“But, her friends laughed at her sometimes. That is not good.”

I knew that some of Goldie’s friends had teased, scolded, bossed her around, excluded her, and done nothing but “not good” things.

“Yes, that is not good. But did she say “I am not good? Did she give up and not even meet anyone and say ‘nice to meet you’. ?

“No mom! She had a friend from school that was really nice to her!” Goldie cried.

“That is a good thing.” I smiled and counted on two hands the many friends Goldie had met and that were nice and did good things.

“Mom, Is she a cowboy?” Goldie wore scrunched up eyebrows.

Every picture of Temple Grandi that I have seen, she is wearing a shirt with a scarf pinned down with a bolo tie.

“I suppose so. She knows a lot about cows. She helped her relatives on a cattle farm.”

“I don’t like cows. I like art. ” Goldie’s nose pointed upward a little and she crossed her arms.

“That is perfect” I told her with a big smile.

“Temple Grandin has autism you know .” Goldie pressed her lips together and looked out the same window I was looking out of. There, we both saw a world that at the moment was green, and sunny, and full of blue sky.

“Yes, I know. ” I said.

“She has autism like me.”

“Yes, she has autism.”

Goldie didn’t say anything more about the Who is Temple Grandin? Book.

We just stared out the window at the summer day knowing what we knew.

Scaredy Cats

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Goldie stepped through the front door and into the kitchen. The floor creaked.

“Who is there?” said a cracked voice.

“Momma J ! It’s me!” Goldie stretches her arms out wide with an ear to ear smile.

Momma J hobbles in the kitchen and inches towards Godie until she could touch the tip of her nose.

Goldie eyes looked at though they would pop out of her face.

“Oh! There you are!” said Grandma.

“Where is the cat?” Goldie’s eyes became search lights. Momma J was the only one that liked Benny. Momma J was the only one that Benny liked. Goldie was never going to like him.

He creeped along and pounced. His mean yellow eyes made her heart race. So every time she came to Grandma’s House.

Momma J didn’t answer Goldie. She went back into the living room and sat down in a soft rocker. Goldie peered from behind the kitchen wall. Benny sat on Momma J’s lap twirling his tail until it finally stilled and tucked under his back legs. His mean yellow eyes blinked and blinked until they disappeared.Momma J slid her hand from the top of Benny’s head all the way down his back. Soon, her own blue eyes disappeared too.

“There, there,”Momma J said.

Goldie watched her pet Benny up and down his back. She rocked him back and forth and wore a closed smile.

“Are you going to read your story to Momma J?” I asked wishing Goldie’s grip on my arm would loosen so that the blood circulation would flow freely.

“No, I am scared.” Goldie whispered. “Benny doesn’t like stories.”

Momma J rocked and rocked then she sighed and said,

“I remember when I was a little girl. I would bundle up my little kitty cat and put her in a baby stroller. Then we would go of a walk down the sidewalk.”Momma J looked out the big window and seemed to really see herself walking the cat down the street in a baby carriage.”

Goldie’s grip on me loosened Goldie looked far away. Perhaps she could see the girl walking her cat down the sidewalk.

“Goldie has a good story to read to you.” I told Momma J, “Goldie why don’t you sit in a chair right next to Momma J and read it.”

I pried Goldie’s fingers off of my arm and slid a chair right next to the rocker. Then I nudged her forward. Goldie hovered over the chair and then sat down with a thump.

Benny popped open his eyes and flew off Grandma’s lap. Goldie grabbed onto my arm again this time her nails dug into my skin feeling very much like cat claws.

“Oh dear! Oh dear!” Momma J stood up and shuffled around looking in every direction.

“I guess Benny is scared too.” I told Goldie

“What is HE scared of?” Goldie crunched up her eyebrows.

“He’s of us. We are strangers to him.” I prodded Goldie’s fingers off my arm again.

“He likes Momma J!” Goldie insisted still standing as though her shoulder was glued to mine.

“Of course he does!” I nodded.

Goldie didn’t say anything but her eyes told me she understood. Goldie wasn’t the only scaredy cat.

“Oh dear!” Momma J was walking in circles all around the house.

Goldie looked at her and pressed her lips together. Then she left my side and followed her. She used her own searchlight eyes to look in every nook and cranny for Benny.

Benny couldn’t been seen in any room of the house.Momma J was in tears. Goldie went back to each room twice, then stopped in her tracks in the den. With her head resting on her shoulder, she said, “There he is!”

Goldie pointed to a place in between the cushions on the couch. Benny sat there in the dark couch like cave looking at us with his yellow eyes. Goldie didn’t grab my arm or dig her nails in it. Her bright blue eyes met his bright yellow eyes and they both smiled.

“There, there, Benny,” Goldie said. “Come on, It’s ok.”

Papa J came in and put his arm around Goldie.

“My, My, looks like our little scaredy cat has found a good hiding place.” He bent down on his knees, scooped up Benny, and placed him Grandma’s arms.

Momma J carried him to the rocker and began to stroke his fur from his head all the way down his back. Benny made curls in the air with his tail, then stopped as he closed his eyes.

Goldie sat down in a chair next to Grandma. and opened up her book.

But she didn’t read the words, she read her own story.

“Once upon a time there was a girl named Goldie. One day she bundled up her kitty and put her in a doll carriage. Then she went for a walk down the sidewalk. “

“Yes!” said Grandma smiling with her eyes closed. “I remember.”.

“There, there Benny. There, there. ” said Goldie as she reached out two fingers to stroke Benny’s back too.

Momma J smiled. Benny’s eyes were closed and he smiled. No one was scared.

PROM

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The fanciest dress she had ever seen was hers. It was pink and covered with jewels. Goldie immediately spread her arms out and did a small twirl when she found herself inside the dress. Her smile looked bigger and brighter than the Queen of England’s. We combed her hair, added a few rosy touches to her face, and added some extra jewels. 

“Here, are you glass slippers,” I said handing her some sparkling flip flops I had bought for her last summer. She had never worn them before. 

“Mom! They are not glass slippers,” Goldie declares.

“I know but they might as well be.” I said placing them in front of her feet.

Goldie lifted her dress slightly and slipped the flip flops on one by one. She hadn’t worn them once. But they fit perfectly. Just like the ones the fairy godmother had magically appear on Cinderella’s feet. Goldie lifted her dress again and glided over to a chair in front of the window and looked out. Her dress skirt draped perfectly all around her. 

Goldie didn’t look sad. She didn’t look scared or nervous. Her hands rested on her lap. She just looked out into the day that would soon turn into evening. She was still for many silent minutes. 

Goldi had once been so bouncy. She would run through the kitchen, living room, dining room and hallway with some bright green flip flops on and a hot pink tutu.  She would sit on a swing for hours and fly to the sky with bare feet. She would twirl around in her pretend dress up Cinderella dress and then crash to the ground with a belly laugh. Now, she was still. Her head looking out and her eyes looking so intently at a dream.

I stood in the doorway and tried to be as still as Goldie. My heart was keeping me from feeling relaxed as Goldie seemed to be. Seeing Goldie so still was so beautiful. I have seen brides look the same right before they walk down the aisle. My mind wandered out into the day too.

This was the first real Cinderella moment in her life. The first prom that she would attend looking more and more like Cinderella than she had ever before. As a young woman, we have dreams of wearing our Cinderella dresses especially the one that we wear when we are the bride walking down the aisle to our groom. But for Goldie, that moment doesn’t seem possible.

Yet, it does seem possible. Because as she sat there, I did see a bride! Through all of her high school years, her concerts, her classes, her dances, …all those times when things were fancy, something ever so magical was happening – more magic than fairy godmother could do. A miracle was in the works. This Cinderella of mine was getting ready as a bride waiting for her Groom.  One day, He will come, and she will be ready. 

“For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready. Fine linen, bright and clean, was given her to wear.”  Revelation 19:7

The biggest 100

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Last year, during Christmas, Goldie met a girl named Wanda. She so poor she only had one dress. But Wanda said she had 100 dresses. The girls laughed at her as they stared at her plain blue dress that she wore everyday to school. One girl had a nice red velvet one. Another girl had a silky green one. Day after day, Wanda would tell them she had 100 dresses. The girls would laugh at her.

“I do too!” Wanda declared.

“I don’t even have 100 dresses!” said a rich girl.

Then one day at school, Wanda’s desk chair was empty. The teacher found a large envelope with a note attached.

“She’s moved away. ” the teacher shared, “Wanda, has moved to the city. Her mother says she won’t be teased there.”

All the girls watched as the teacher opened up the envelope and passed out a picture to each girl.

“It’s my silky green dress!” cried one and I am wearing it!”

“I am wearing my red velvet one! It looks just like me!”

The girls realize, Wanda really did have 100 dresses. She really did line them all up in the closet. She thought not only of the dress but of the girl who wore it. She noticed them all and took care to remember.She had called them friend.

Goldie remembers Wanda. She feels sorry that Wanda was laughed at. She feels even more sorry that she only had one dress and not 100. Then she goes into her room and closes the door. All is quiet for hours. I know that she is in there because I can see a little bit of her shadow in the space between the door and the floor.

Why does Wanda touch Goldie’s heart and mine? This storybook character has lived in many girls’ lives but maybe only for a short time. They have lots of friends. They don’t have to WORK to get friends. They just win them over naturally. They come and they go and then they make new friends. Wanda and Goldie think the same when it comes to friends.

When Goldie is away, I sneak into her room. There are stacks of sketch books underneath her drawing table. I pick up the one on the top. Goldie will know I was here if I put the book back in the wrong place. I carefully turn the pages-

The first girl smiles at me:

Ada. Goldie has written at the top. Some girls wear too short of a dress in my opinion. But Goldie knows Ada and she sees “pretty”.

Then I see another: Eva

Eva is wearing her party ballet dress. Goldie has seen her doing ballet many times. Goldie can’t fly across the stage without falling over. But Eva can and Goldie watches with wonder.

And another: Maralisa. She is all smiles all the time. She has her own fun and funny dress to wear each day depending on her heart beat.

The book pages are wrinkled, worn, and full of dresses and friends who wore them.

There are more than a 100. The next book in the pile are full of still more. Surely if I spent the day counting there would be more than a 1000 dresses and the girls who wore them. These girls have been seen by Goldie and remembered. Friends with them or not.

Goldie has at least 100 dresses, all in a book. She will always have them and remember the girls who wore them. Just like Wanda. Only Goldie is still drawing dresses and the girls who wore them. Friend or not.