Sometimes we insert our foot into our mouth. I have been guilty of such a time. Trying to auto correct our words is not easy. Especially when our emotions color our words with passion.

We, ( my family and I) were standing in a conversation circle of friends and strangers. After the “pleased to meet you’ exchanges, we either listened in or gave our two cents on the random topic our words had wandered to whether in the pleasantries of “such a wonderful summer” to “I remember being a high schooler.

But then, it happened. It was quite unexpected. The topic of high school led to an “insert into mouth” statement. I am happy to share that this time it wasn’t me. One of the strangers commented about her old high school building which is now transformed into a building that provides services for special needs kids and adults, and also services for the deaf and hard of hearing. “Who would have thought there would be a need for all of that.” she said, “God didn’t intend to make people with such needs.”

I blushed, I perspired, and my heartbeat rushed up to a dangerous number.

God did’t intend for all of this? God didn’t intend to make people with special needs? I stood right next to Goldi who looked far and away. What was she thinking? How I wanted to stun the woman with perfect “soap box” words. I had to breathe first. Then I looked far and away like Goldi and put my hand on her shoulder. “Well, God allowed it to happen. For His glory” I said looking at her with a smile.

“I see, Interesting. For His glory” the woman said “He allowed it to happen.” As the woman walked away, I looked at Goldi and smiled. She smiled back and was the first to break the conversation circle.

Since the day Goldi was diagnosed, I had to be ready for such moments. I had to be ready with words that somehow silence all the future unnecessary, unkind, and flat out STUPID words that I knew would come about autism. I will never have all the answers. I don’t know if I even have any.I know there is sin in the world. I know that I am a sinner, and Goldi is a sinner. But sometimes sin just doesn’t cut it for a reason why! There is enough sin to deal with in all of us. It shouldn’t be that the cherry on the top just for pizzaz God planned to add autism into our world. But He did.

Why was she born with autism? I waited 20 years for a husband and children. And my first one has autism. Did I do something wrong? Did she?

So now what God? We have this child who has autism. Is this what you intended? Now we have to deal with therapy, special classes, social challenges, anxieties, sensory issues, medical issues, academic challenges, etc. I am not the only one who has asked this question.

“Why was this man blind when he was born? Did his parents do something wrong or did he do something wrong?” The disciples asked Jesus.

“it is not because this man or his parents did something wrong. It happened so that God could show His great work in this man.” Jesus said.

That is why! It doesn’t always bring peace. But it does make me smile. Goldi has autism. And even though she does- God has displayed his great work. God intended for Goldi to have autism? No, he allowed for this. He does intend for Him to be great. And His intentions never fail.

I was ready to tell that woman my answer. I had John 9 in my pocket all along. It has helped me all these many years of questioning. But what I didn’t realize all these years is that there was something God DID intend to do. Something awful. Something that appeared to be a tragic mistake:

“But God chose to hurt his servant. He caused his servant to receive much pain. His servant died to remove peoples guilt. As a result, God will bless him with many descendants, and he will have a long life. What the Lord wants will happen.” Isaiah 53:10

No mistake about it. God intended to make His name great, even if it meant allowing something to look like a big mistake. When in reality, it was glory in the making. Just like Goldi- and just like you and I.

Everyday Goldi draws people. She must have a million sketches. Some are colored in with a POP! Others just smile at you because they have all the detail needed to impress the beholder. It was time to do something with all these drawings! So boys and girls, young and old, story lovers, … introducing

Handmade to Handheld Books are teacher authored and illustrated with artwork included by Goldiella. A former teacher, (me) created it and is the sole author. Goldi and I illustrate them using real to life picture scenes and drawn pictures. They are created with the kid in mind. They are for early readers. All of them have special notes to the readers to give them a traditionally published text with a similiar theme to be read aloud. This give them prior background and aides in comprehension. Also, there are listed choices for HOW the child will read the book.

Here is the first one:

Jesus loves Children

One day, we were walking along, and I looked up and saw this………

A singing tree! The first song, that came to mind, was Jesus Loves the Little Children.

“Goldi! We are going to make a book. I will write and you will help illustrate!” I said smiling under the blue sky.

“Are you sure?” Goldi said.

“Look! Look at that tree! It’s singing!”

“Yes, it is.” Goldi said smiling.

Soon we met other tree people:

They all agreed to be in the book. Then, we looked at pages and pages of friends that Goldi has drawn. She could draw a friend with her eyes closed it seems.

We “introduced” her friends with the tree people and …. we made pictures to illustrate how much Jesus loves His children:

Not only did we use words from the song, but we also used Bible verses using the Easy English Bible Version. It is a simple but beautiful translation.

Here is a peek at a page:

It’s a work of art. It’s a work of both of our hands. It’s Handmade. It’s for YOUR hand to hold!

Find them on amazon.

It has been said that a girl’s 16th birthday is a sweet one. Here is a list of Gold’s Sixteen Sweets:

Chocolate Cake with pink icing and colored sprinkles without the 16 candles.

Vanilla Ice cream- sweet and tastes good as a dessert side.

A pink rose with soft petals and perfume smell.

A conversation where you are the listener and it is between your two children and they hear each other and know exactly what to say back and they talk like they know each other better than you feel like you know them.

A card sent to a friend, a family member, an acquaintance, for all sorts of reasons and for no real at all except for– just because.

A trickle of tears flowing down because you are reminded that Jesus really really loves you and suffered and died for you and at that moment it is time for you to take communion for the first time.

A meal eaten in total silence. Those around the table, chewed, swallowed, and looked around and wondered about the day.

Being brave and signing a song in ASL about real hope in front of a teen audience.

Writing a letter to someone famous just like you were their close friend and receiving a letter back.

Saying: “I’m not ready to drive. There is too much to think about.” And being content with that.

Knowing what to do on a day that feels like a day of nothing extraordinary.

Talking and laughing with one friend about something. Talking and laughing with another friend about something else.

Creating a treasure to keep or give away.

Cooking something for yourself, eating it, and it tastes just right.

Changes happen and you say: “That’s how it is.”

Knowing you have autism but more so that you are someone not just anyone because you are a child of God.

Jeremiah 29:11-12 Easy English Bible Version: I tell you this: I have decided what I will do for you. I have plans to help you to do well. I do not want to hurt you. I want to give you hope for a good life in the future. When you call out to me, I will hear your prayers.

The room was pin drop quiet. But we could not hear people talking. We could see them talking. One person would finger dance. The other would finger dance back. Goldi and I stood in awe.

” This is how you can talk without making a sound. ” I whispered.

A woman standing nearby looked at me.

Oh dear! I shouldn’t have said anything. At least not with my mouth. Immediately I gave away my identity. I was a hearing person. Well, some deaf people DO speak. ( Sue Thomas for one) But I was NO Sue Thomas. She was multi- talented. I have multi inabilities. Bravely but with my heart pounding madly, I breathed and walked up to the woman who had finished the fastest finger dance I ever saw!

“Hello,” I signed “I am — “

I can’t finger spell very fast. There are five letters of my name. My fingers trembled. I have known all the letters of the alphabet since the fourth grade. I was fingerspelling all kinds of words.Not very fast but I was a good speller. I was signing my name to someone who couldn’t hear. Someone who had no idea who I was. Someone who would never hear their own name being said, but signed.

“Nice to meet you,” she signed back. Her hands and fingers slowed down a bit. “I am Nina” she spelled. After that she took her N hand and rubbed it against her cheek.

Goldi looked at me wearing crinkled up eyebrows. She was afraid so say anything in the supposed silence. I knew that look that said “Huh?”

I looked at her and signed the word name- where you take two fingers from your dominant hand and and bounce them twice on two fingers with your non dominant hand. Then made the sign for sign where you take your index fingers on both hands and circle them on each side. Nina was making her name sign. A sign that states your name without spelling it.

Goldi signed spelled her name to the woman and she politely danced the same words with the same smile.

“I’m Linda.” It was the the first audible word expressed. “A woman from behind had entered and she signed and spoke at the same time.

I looked down at her name tag. Next to her name was the word interpreter. After spelling her name, with one hand she shaped an L and circled it around her chest. She continued to sign and speak at the same time.

“Nice to meet you, Linda, ” I signed trying out the name sign. “How did you get your name sign?” I said with my fingers.

She told me a story about a deaf teacher she once had that worked with her for years. It was this teacher that gave her the name sign. Linda knew we were hearing and learners. She continued by telling us some rules about a name sign:

“You can only get a name sign from someone who is deaf or maybe someone is a parent of a child who is deaf. And they have to know you. You can’t just get a name sign from someone you’ve known for a short time. Don’t ask them for one. ” she said in a quite serious tone.

“Well, I guess we won’t be given a name sign this week after all. ” I told Goldi in the car when we were rested our hands and let our mouths do the talking.

“Oh well, maybe one day..” Goldi said.

We wished for a moment in the silence. What would our name sign look like ?

Would Goldi’s be a G bouncing off her belly because her laugh is so contagious? Would it be a G jumping off the palm of your hand because she loves to jump? Or would it be a G curving up and out of her cheek because she loves to smile ? Whatever the sign, it would take years for a deaf person to KNOW Goldi and give her a name sign.

Until then more learning. More finger dances and body movements and facial expressions and meeting others who have mastered the finger dance. Then maybe one day we will be able to use a name sign and someone else will sign our name back. And we will sign all kinds of names. Names of people who love to read, or cook, or take walks, or take pictures, or color, or swim, or travel, or laugh just like Goldi. Names of people who are deaf and hearing. Until then wait and wonder… what will people think of us? What will they come to know about us to help them give us a name sign?

I don’t know many name signs. I barely remember the two we did learn. But I do know one and you might know it too. You put your hands out with your palms turned sideways. Take your index finger and point to the center of the opposite hand. Take your index finger of your other hands and point to the center of the opposite hands. It’s the most perfect sign for the most perfect person. He had that name sign even before anyone on earth knew him. His Father knew him best and signed his name. And Jesus signed it back to us.

And this shall be a sign: You will find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger. Luke 2:12

And you shall call him Jesus because he will save the people from their sins. Matthew 1:21

In exactly six days, spring arrives. Currently the sun is shining, the birds are singing, and there is a drip drip dripping of the snow that fell yesterday. The days are getting lighter. So spring- it’s calling. That means robins, warm weather, tulips, crocuses, and of course – MUD!

Mud. It’s brown. It’s wet and it’s glorious! Youth make mud cakes and mud pies. It’s squishy and dirty. Yes, at times, it can look a little like animal doo doo. But it can also look a little like chocolate cake batter.

Mud. It’s glorious! It’s what involved in what happened next in the story of the blind man. Jesus played with mud!

Once upon a time, when we was walking along the road with his friends, He saw a blind man. He told his friends that this man was blind so that he could show God’s glory. He said he was here as the world’s light and that while it is day – he needed to do good work! Then, he made mud.

He spat into the dust and made mud. Then, he put it on the blind man’s eyes. ( more like smeared it ) and then he said: “Go wash”.

The blind mind didn’t say anything. He couldn’t see Jesus But surely he could hear him. It is my opinion that when one or more of our senses is taken away, the others become stronger. So, I think that even if Jesus stood a few feet away, that blind man could hear him loud and clear. He heard him say “I am the light of the world. He heard him say “This man was born blind so that he could show the glory of God. I have work to do while it is still day.”

There he stands with mud on his eyes. He probably saw more darkness than before. God says to him, “Now, go and wash.”

The blind man was told to go to the Pool of Siloam. It had some clean “purifying” water in it. It was the center of Jerusalem. After playing with mud, I washed too. In the bathtub with soap! The water turned brown after washing off the mud. My skin was all clean and smooth and I could touch things again because I was clean.

I am not sure the Pool of Siloam was a bathtub. More like a pool of water in a rock. I don’t know why the water was purified. But like your mother tells you to wash up before dinner, Jesus told this blind man to go wash!

And he did. Then, e came right back. He came back to the place where he stood blind. When he was blind, he was probably begging because he had been reduced to nothing but a beggar. But this time, he could see!

I wonder what he was thinking when he first could see. The light must have been overpowering after having seen darkness for so long. The colors, the people, the whole wide world was really there before his eyes. He now had all five senses!

Wait a minute! Wait a minute? Wasn’t this the guy that was sitting and begging? ” asked one.

“Nah! he looks like him. But no.” said another.

“No, it IS him.”

“Hey! Aren’t you that blind man? You used to beg? ” Someone asks him.

“Yes, I am that man.” the ONCE blind man said.

“What’s happened to you? How come your eyes are open? How come you see? ” another asks. His mouth is probably hanging open.

“Well, the man named Jesus made mud and anointed may eyes with mud. “

Then they all stand and wonder- Annointed? That’s for really holy people like the priests. That’s for people that belong to God. And certainly that wouldn’t do for something like Mud?

But that is the word the blind man uses. He doesn’t just say Jesus rubbed mud on his eyes. He says anointed. It’s like he doesn’t see mud on his eyes as being a ridiculous thing. He sees the mud that Jesus put on his eyes as something glorious. Like he was touching him with mud and it was glorious because Jesus was getting him ready for something glorious!

“He told me to go and wash. I went and washed. Now, I can see!” He shouts. He jumps three feet in the air and kicks his feet together. He takes someone near by the hand and does a little dance.

And this all came from mud. Glorious mud. Because Jesus was playing with it. And something glorious came from it. Oh glorious mud!

It starts with Once upon a time. It’s not a fairy tale. It’s a true story. I don’t need to wish that a story like this really happened. It did. On a certain day, in a certain place, in a time life of this world, it happened. It’s a story I keep for many reasons.

Once upon a time, a man named Jesus was walking along with his friends. It was a hot sunny day. There was dust flying everywhere with each step taken. They walk at a good pace but not too fast because as they walked along, they could see everything around them.

” Boy that pot she’s carrying must be heavy.” said someone.

“Oh! Look! He’s got a new donkey! Looks like a sturdy one!” said another.

“I smell homemade pita!” said another, “When’s lunch?”

Jesus doesn’t say anything. All of the sudden, they see a certain blind man.

“Oh! I know him! That’s Bart.” said one.

“No! HIs name is Sam!” said another.

“You are both wrong! His name is Toby.”

“Yes, Toby! Poor old Toby. Just look at him. He was born blind. Now he’s just a raggedy old beggar. “

“Jesus, do you know why Toby was born blind?”

I don’t know who asked the question. But I have the same wondering question. Why was our daughter born with autism? Why are people born with no limbs? Why are people born deaf? Why did anyone have to suffer cancer and die? Why? It is a wondering over a question that sometimes, we don’t ever find an answer for, but we ask it anyway.

Sometimes, I think I know it all. Just like Jesus’s friends.

“Oh! I know. Was it because he sinned or maybe was it because his parents sinned?”

Sin. That is the ultimate answer. There is sin in the world. That’s why. If it is a question that pierces your gut- then the answer to the Why is sin. No matter how different the circumstance, when it comes to those awful things that make us ask and ask and ask until we are blue, the only answer I can come up with is – sin.

“Right Jesus? Sin. We just need to remember there is sin in this world.” they say.

I forget. We are not writing the story. God is. And it is all about Jesus. So, he doesn’t nod his head or praise them for being so smart. He answers first with: “No!”

“Huh? What do you mean: “No!” You can’t tell me I am not right. There is sin all over the world. ” says one.

Jesus said, “No, it’s not because the man nor his parents sinned. It was so that God could show his glory in this man. ”

Jesus’s friends stopped in their tracks. They couldn’t hear a clip clop of a donkey or the whistle of a young man hammering away at some carpentry project. All they could hear is Jesus’s words: It was so God could show His glory! ”

Do you know what glory is? You could wonder about that word for the rest of your life. Our brains think of great things. Things we let our mouths hang open over or look at with wide eyes. But that’s not the glory that Jesus was talking about.

Put God in front of glory and you have something bigger than the Grand Canyon. More than a whale jumping out of the ocean. More wonderful than seeing the Northern Lights. Even the most grandiose thing in the world that is there for us to see- God’s glory is even better. You just can’t pin down glory when it comes to God. It is inexpressibly more than we can imagine.

If I had dwelled on finding answers to why our daughter had autism, I would still be on a life long research project. What is genetics? Was it the fact that she was born two weeks early? Was it because my placenta was unhealthy? Did I not eat enough fruits and vegetables? Did I not follow the Manuel? Was it the results of some vaccination?And if I did find all the answers to why, what am I supposed to do with all of that information now? Sometimes knowing the answers only bring you to more questions.

For over 15 years, God saw to it that He displayed His glory and still does. Just like He always does in any other life.

When asked what color is your jacket, our daughter said “Turquoise” . Turquoise was one of her list of 20 vocabulary words at age 3. God displayed His glory. Fast forward a few more years, and she is writing her version of Princess and the Pea to be used for a neighborhood play. God displayed his glory. Fast forward some more years, and she’s making pictures that look like they could be used for a children’s book, an art gallery, or some animation. God displays His glory.

To see God’s glory that’s why. That’s why for all of the why’s of life. At least the ones that sting us. That’s why we have to keep our eyes open all the while on this journey. Because if we are too busy looking for Venus lining up with Jupiter or a waiting for a flower to bloom before our eyes, we might miss other unexpected things that God does “just for fun” all in the realm of displaying of His glory.

Now, what comes next in the story is not so glorious. It involved mud. But even mud is glorious.

On Christmas Eve, the wind howled. The snowfall was fast and furious. Everything had been cancelled from flights to Christmas Eve Church Services.

I heard this voice coming from long ago. I am ashamed to say it wasn’t a bible verse or from a dear long gone grandparent. It was the voice of Santa:

“I am sorry folks, everything’s been cancelled. There is no way I can get my sleigh off the ground.”

Somehow my mind drifted into that silly sentimental Christmas Special. Rudolph, the red nosed reindeer, is made fun of and labeled a misfit. Santa realizes he actually needs him. You know the song: “Rudolph with your nose so bright. Won’t you guide my sleigh tonight? His red nose that glowed, the thing that made him the misfit, was what made him the hero in the end. Christmas, at least in the childlike secular sense, happened.

I looked out the kitchen window to watch the blizzard perform. The manger scene glowed under the layer of snow that trimmed the top. I could see the baby Jesus and Mary. But Joseph wasn’t lit up. He was nearly buried in snow. Whether you are reading Matthew or Luke, Joseph doesn’t seem to be on the scene much at all. After he and Mary find Jesus in the temple talking to all the other smart men, his name isn’t found. He seems minor compared to Mary in the grand scheme of things. But he married Mary, the mother of Jesus. He took care of both of them. He provided for them. The young boy Jesus had a father and a mother who raised him. God chose him to be Jesus’s earthly father. Something major accomplished through a minor character.

O Little Town of Bethlehem, how still we see thee lie. I was glad for the Christmas music to accompany the snowfall. I don’t really know much about Bethlehem except that the city to most, seemed to have been so minor. There is a major city within walking distance. It’s name was Jerusalem. it still is. Around it was a Great Wall. A wall to protect the city so that it could thrive. In the book of Nehemiah, we are told that the wall was in need of repair. So many men pitched in. Malchijah was one of them. You will find him in Nehemiah 3 verse 14. This is what it says: Malchijah the son of Rehab, ruler of the district Beth-haccherem, repaired the Dung Gate. He rebuilt it and set its doors and its bars. Malchijah repaired the smelly, disgusting, Dung Gate. Not the Tower of Ovens, not the Fountain Gate, not any majestic part of the wall. He repaired the Dung Gate. Because he did, the wall was strong and the city was strong! Jerusalem was the city where Jesus preached and taught. It was the city where Jesus died. Did Malchijah wonder if what he did would be important? Who knows? But if he hadn’t done what he did, the wall of Jerusalem would not have been as strong. The wall is strongest if all it’s parts are strong. If Jerusalem had fallen, Bethlehem, the birthplace of Jesus, a city so much smaller than Jerusalem, and walking distance from it, would have certainly fallen too. Two cities liked together for an important reason- all pointing to Jesus. Something so minute can be so important!

After wind, snow, and a streamed candlelight service, all there was to do was sleep It wasn’t going to be a silent night. We would continue to hear the wind but we trusted the morning would come and we would celebrate. Each Christmas we look for him. We look for him not in a display of a palace. We look for him in a creche. We find him not in a crib, but in a manger. The angels announced the Savior’s arrival with song. Shepherds saw and heard them and ran to see him. What did they find? A baby in a MANGER. A weak and helpless baby in an animal feeding trough. No room in the inn but there was a manger. A baby who would was really a King was sleeping in a manger. This was the Savior of the world. The Shepherd minors came to see someone so major though he was born in a manger. And in faith, they rejoiced.

The misfit, the minor, the minute, and most importantly the manger are part of my Christmas. The weak and humble are strong. Amazing somethings through something unexpected. May we all be on the look out for the misfit, the minor, and the minute experiences. There is where we find these miracles and purposes far behind our imagination and understanding.

“I really want to meet someone who is deaf. I want to practice my sign language.”

Goldi shared this one afternoon. We had been watching sign language videos and enjoying the art.

“Good night,” Goldi signs at 9 pm. She brings her fingers to her lips and then bringing them down to the palm of her hand. Then she stretches her arm out and lays one hand over the other. It’s like the sun has set over the horizon. I sign back and close her bedroom door.

Signing is an art. It’s an amazing finger dance. Some do it so quickly. Some do it so gracefully. Most who are deaf do it just as easily as they do breathing, Because they have to breath in order to stay alive.

In the morning, Goldie lifts her fingers to her lips again and then brings them down against the palm of her other hand. Then she takes her arm and stretches it across her and raises her hand up over her other arm. It’s like the sun is rising up over the horizon.

“Good morning,” I sign back to her, “What would you like for breakfast?”

Goldi brushes two fingers up and down and against two sides of her hand. Kind of like buttering two sides of a slice of toast.

She makes her own breakfast and for awhile, except for the clinks of dishes or the pop of the toast, there is nothing but quiet in the new of the day. Yet, we have been talking the whole time.

Neither of us is hard of hearing. ( At least one of us isn’t yet) Neither of us is fluent in sign language. But deep inside of both of us, there was a desire to know another way of expressing a message. We know how to talk and write. We know how to sing and play an instrument. But now we know how to dance with our fingers. And sometimes it’s the only thing we want to do when it comes to talking.

Sometimes there is a special reason for this finger dance. Sometimes, Goldi is upset and doesn’t want to voice anything. Sometimes wants to share this “secret language” with only one. Sometimes it is just so fun to finger dance while hearing someone else talk or read or sing a song.

“What is the first thing you might say when you meet someone who is deaf?” I ask.

Goldi looks away as she often does when she is thinking. There could be a hundred and one thoughts running around in her mind. What would she say to someone who is only able to say anything with their hands. What if she made a mistake What if she said “You are smelly instead of You are sweet.” What if they said something back to Goldie and went so fast, she couldn’t understand. There would be a different kind of silence that may be difficult to break.

“Well, ” Goldie finally says “How about this-”

She takes one hand and places it palm up in front of her. Then she takes the other hand palm down and slides it across her other hand. Then she brings her two index fingers together. Then she points one finger out.

“Of course! That’s just right! I bet they will say “nice to meet you too! And I bet you’ll make a new friend.”

Goldi does the sign for friend. It looks like two fingers are hugging each other.

I nod my fisted right hand. ( That means Yes)

“So when do you think I will make a friend who is deaf?” she asks

I make a circle using my index finger and thumb ( kind of like the ok sign) and touch it to my chin. Then I cross both fingers on each hand and wave them.

“What does that mean?” Goldie asks.

“Soon, I hope.” I answer.

I saw it and it made me jump. Just like the name of the flower. It certainly earned its name this time. When I watered the flowers in the flower boxes for the first time, there it was. It wasn’t planted there. It just jumped up out of the crack in the patio. It was a miracle.

Miracles may seem few and far between when it comes to the journey of autism or for any day of life for that matter. Or are they? If I think carefully, even the smallest of things can in fact be miracles. It’s a miracle that Goldi is now surpassing me in height considering she was born two weeks early which may have contributed to her development and readiness for life in this mixed up world. It is a miracle that she is eating what is on her plate rather than just a menu of just five foods. It’s a miracle that even though she is shy around a new face or even a familiar one, she read an entire poem in front of a whole group of kids. It is a miracle that she petted a Golden Retriever once when she always watched her from afar because she was afraid. It was a miracle that she went to sleep all on her own one night, after I simply said :”Good night”. A miracle that after speaking in tongues for so long, she is speaking in the same language I am and reading and writing in it too.

I won’t blabber on and on about miracles. Because if everything that has happened on this journey was a miracle, then it wouldn’t be so miraculous. What’s more, my life is miraculous, but isn’t yours too?

A miracle is something supernatural. Something that doesn’t follow the laws of nature or science or whatever law that has been written that says that if it doesn’t make sense it’s either nonsense or a miracle.

It certainly didn’t make sense that the flower jumped up from the crack. I didn’t plant it. I didn’t water it. It’s not even a weed. It’ a genuine flower! What’s more, it’s only gotten bigger.

Goldi is in a point of transition now. Next year, she will be in high school. It’s a miracle we have come all this way. Maybe you too are saying the same thing, in the midst of your transition. With them, come things we hope for, things we expect, and things we fear may happen. I have no idea what will jump up in the future.

“Mom! Do you want me to pick and put it back where it belongs?” my son asked when he noticed it.

“No! It should be right where it is.” I answer. “It’s a miracle.”

So many have autism. And so many times, the story is full of challenge, hopelessness, bitterness, and just plain despair. They say that if you have met someone with autism that you have just met someone with autism. It’s not as if you’ve met one you’ve met them all! Each one has a different story.

Maggie was first grader. She was lively and energetic. She cried as though the world was caving in when she lost her hat. She couldn’t write her name without it looking like chicken scratch. Her belly laugh bounced off the walls right in the middle of a spelling test. She could read way past the first grade Little Bear books.

But one day, she was Goldilocks in our first grade play. We performed it for the second grade. One of the second grade girl’s mother had just died. The girl laughed every time ‘Goldilocks” came on the stage. At the end of the play, Maggie took a bow and everyone applauded loudly. Maggie, the one who made the girl laugh, was someone with autism.

Henry could yell, laugh, scream, and groan. He had to be watched like a hawk or he might run away or grab something he shouldn’t. There was never a word that came from his mouth. One day, a caretaker was reading to him. . He let out a few grunts and giggles. Did he understand what he heard? The caretaker had no idea. Maybe just the sound of her voice was enough. When the story finished, Henry put his hands on his caretaker’s hands. He groaned. He let out a YIPE! “YAH!”

“What is it Henry? What are you trying to tell me? ” asked the caretaker.

“YAH! WA!” Henry said. .

“YAH! WAH!” Henry said.

At that moment, his caretaker knew. Henry wanted what all children who have just heard a story that they really liked want and was saying what they would say- “Read it again!”

I wish I knew to this day what story she had been reading. I wondered if I would say ‘read it again’ just like Henry did. Henry is someone who has autism.

She used too speak in tongues and still does sometimes. She’d rather have the wind comb her hair than a hairbrush. She cares little about matching her clothes and looks the other way or digs her heels into the floor when she sees someone she knows. To this day, she cannot add 2 plus two in her head. She has a handful of friends and seems to “live” in story land sometimes.

One day, she was eating lunch in the cafeteria. Her friends began to joke.

“Don’t you think I look like Jesus?” a friend asked.

She should a picture that she had drawn. She had written her name at the top, then crossed her name out and put ‘Jesus’.

“I don’t!” one girl shouted.

Later in class, the girl who shouted “No”! wrote an email.

If you really want to know who Jesus is. Then just ask me. I will tell you. Please don’t make fun of Jesus.

That girl’s name was Goldi. She is someone with autism.

I’ve learned it easy to believe that Maggie, Henry, Lilly, Goldi or any other someone with autism is not just someone with autism but a great someone– because they have autism.

And His disciples asked Him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” 3Jesus answered, “It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him.