Hiding in a folder and buried underneath stacks of other folders, there are drawings. Goldi has made so many pictures since she first decided that drawing was her thing. Something that made her feel calm, happy, and excited all at once. There is a pictures of characters, animals, and even a snow globe. These are drawings she had done while she watched Draw so Cute or Art Hub. So many pictures. One of a Saint Patricks Day Taco, a Spooky Spaghetti, a hundred princesses, cute animals, and scenes of each season. Some I’ve seen but most I haven’t Including the one that I find near the bottom of the stack.
Me. I see written on the top of a black and white drawn picture. I hold this picture in my hand for some time.
I see a girl straight and tall with hair tied up in a bow and eyelashes that curled at the tips. She is smiling but not too much. She wears a cute dress with a little flower and a slight ruffle at the bottom. She is standing alone but she stands with confidence that she really isn’t alone.
Who is this? You might wonder.
I can almost hear the girl in the picture whisper “Me”.
A cute girl. A happy girl. A girlie girl. A girl who has a secret to tell.
“Me” says a voice. “Me”. That is all that you need to know.
Everyday Goldi draws almost like she is keeping a journal. Each drawing captures her moment of fun and wonder. Sometimes it’s something wacky. Like the Saint Patricks Day Taco or a Spooky Spaghetti? But whacky is in to Gold. She laughs and says
“TADA!” when she presents her newest drawing that she drew while watching the Art Hub guy.
“Isn’t she so cute?” she says as she shows me a little summer girl or another princess from Draw so Cute. Just right for someone who is learning to draw t all the fine lines and daintiness and things that make us smile.
“Art Hub just came out with a new drawing!” she announces.
“What is it this time?’ I ask.
“How to draw a vampire doughnut!” she says laughing.
“What?” I say, “What in the world to Vampires have to do with doughnuts?”
Goldi doesn’t answer. She just wants to draw it. Drawing it helps her makes sense out of the things that don’t. Drawing it, is like getting into someone else’s imagination for awhile and it feeds her own.
“Iv’e got to draw the Unicorn Girl, she shares.
“Can I see it when you are finished?” I ask wondering if that means a unicorn who happens to be a girl or a girl who has a horn like a unicorn OR-
“We’ll see” she says.
I see her drawing with pen in hand, listening to the soft voiced girl on the computer. She turns it off once the sketch is done and adds color all on her own. Then she folds it up and puts it in her folder.
Sometimes, she is drawing and I don’t know it. She is in her room. It’s quiet. She is there for a long time. Sometimes I wonder if she has fallen asleep. But not in broad daylight. The door is locked so I can’t peek on what secret she is hiding. I bring my ear to the door and I hear nothing but a her breathing and a her chair creak.
Then, when Goldi isn’t home. I sneak into her room. I leaf through all the pictures. I try to not to leave a visible fingerprint. Goldi has hidden many of her drawings. It’s like a bunch of secretes she stores up safely for a time when she chooses to reveal them. Or not.
I find the picture. It’s not a Draw so Cute one. Nor is it a wacky Art Hub one. It is Goldi one. It’s Goldi herself. The way she wants to daw herself. The way she sees herself. The way God created her to draw herself. The way she images her Creator.
“Me” she says.
All on her own, she drew. Maybe with a little cute and a little wacky But “Me” just the same. Just ME!